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The other component of this kind of friendship Is mutual reality or friendship ethics. The best way to describe that Is that both people In the friendship invest similar effort, time, money and so on in the relationship. The second kind of friendship is the kind that begins and grows at first. In this “friendship” inevitably one of the parties feels that he or she is always doing what the other wants to do, always picking up the tab, always conceding, and then that person begins to feel as if he or she Is Just useful to the other and not really loved or cherished as friend should be. Everybody has had a friend Like this.

She may be the en who never has money, always forgets commitments, always needs help with something, but is not around when others need her help. Unfortunately, because the United States is a capitalist society, people are taught to be greedy and to want more, but also to hold on to what they have. That translates to personal relationships too, and that is what the American notion of friendship has become at least to some people. The difference in the way early Americans thought about friendship and the way we think of it today is that early Americans did not view friendship solely as a way to benefit.

Of course, anybody who has a friend benefits from that friendship and recognizes the benefit, but a true friend does not think of the other person only when a need arises. They Just think of the other person when they want to be with them. When people are young, they make friends easily. They see someone else around their age engaging In an actively that they Like to do also, and Instantly they are friends. There are no politics Involved, no social posturing, and no Investment planning. As they get older and experience being used by people they thought was their friends, they get more cynical though.

Friendship entails wariness, a finely executed dance of exposing vulnerabilities, reaching out and waiting for the return. If the return is mutual or at least close to mutual, then perhaps a friendship develops. Often, a friendship develops If the return Is not always mutual. We have all had friends who never picked up the tab, always late, always needed something, but those friends compensated in other ways and the friendship balance sheet was even. “Friends” are in the relationship for what they can extract from it, but not what they can contribute to it.

We all know people like this. Sometimes we even initiate contact with them, but everybody knows the score. The contact Is for what is to be gotten out of the meeting and nothing else. For example, I have a friend from high His mother?I will call her D. ?and my mother started a friendship, or at least I think that is what my mother wanted. It turns out it is more of a “friendship. ” My mother bought two tickets and invited D. To a blues festival over the Fourth of July holiday last year. Mom said while they were at the festival, D. Id not even buy her a glass of wine. Mom did not give up. She and D. .NET out on Halloween in costume, but when it came time to buy rounds of drinks, Mom bought, D. Drank. Over the winter holidays, my mother threw a party and we invited D. And her son, my friend. Mom jokingly said, “D. Will be the first one here and the last to leave because there is free food,” but turns out, it was not a Joke. That is actually what happened. We laughed about it after the party because Mom pegged it exactly right.

For D, the friendship is about what she can get out of it in the way of free drinks and food apparently. For my mother, it was supposed to be companionship. Perhaps the key is to meet friends while doing charity or civic work like friendship was in early America. At least then one knows that those friends are not only interested in their own gain and always focused on how the relationship benefits them most. It seems, as a person grows older, he or she learns that friends are rare and more often the people one associates most are more like “friends. Maybe that is why there is a saying that says a person only has one or two true friends in a lifetime. Perhaps if Americans were not so focused on accumulating things, then friendships would not have that component to them either. Revisions: In the essay “Citizenship and Friendship”, Robert N Bella states the major differences between the way early Americans think about friendship. One type of friendship is the spontaneous friendship that springs up out of nowhere. Two people could meet at a school or at church and instantly connect due simply to their similarities in interests.

A second type of friendship is the “friend” friendship where one on the friends puts in all of the effort, while the other reaps all of the benefits that come from it. Everyone has at least one of each of these types of friends, but in he end the friend you meet spontaneously will probably be the one you’ll want to keep in your life. The first type of friendship is where two people meet, enjoy one another’s personality, want to hang out, and spend time together. They might meet anywhere?work, school, church, the grocery store; as stated in the article, it is spontaneous.

Where they meet does not matter and the activities they participate in together do not matter; what matters is that they like the same types of things and are willing to try new things with together. The other component of this kind of ironsides is mutual morality or friendship ethics. The best way to describe that is that both people in the friendship invest similar effort, time, money, and other various aspects in the relationship. This is the type of friendship that is directly connected to citizenship due to the feeling of mutual obligation.

Take John Adams and Thomas Jefferson for example. At one point they considered to more-or-less rivals, and one might even go as far to call them enemies. However, one Jefferson had defeated Adams, they both realized that their ideas and interests were not so different after all. This is a great example of a spontaneous friendship that ended up lasting until the very end. The second kind of friendship is the one that begins and grows first. In regards to “flatterer. ” The true friend will always be there for you, no matter what.

All the true friend wants is to see you happy, and will be honest with you every time. The flatterer however, is technically the opposite off friend. They will tell you what you want to hear in order to keep the peace, but this type of friend doesn’t truly care about you. Most of the time this friend will be using it, whether it be to pick up the ABA, or Just as a side-convenience when no one else is there for them. The “flatterer” friend translates to personal relationships too, and that is what the American notion of friendship has become at least to in a lot of cases. E think of it today, is that early Americans did not view friendship solely as a way to recognizes these benefits, but a true friend does not think of the other person only when a need arises. They think of the other person when they want to be with them. Their age engaging in an activity that they like to do too, and instantly they are friends. There are no politics involved, no social posturing, and no investment planning. As they get older and experience being used by people they thought were executed dance of exposing vulnerabilities, reaching out, and waiting for the return.

If the return is mutual or at least close to mutual, then perhaps a friendship develops. Often, a friendship develops even if the return is not always mutual. We all have that friend who never picks up the tab, is always late, or who always needs something, but those friends compensate in other ways and the friendship balance sheet becomes even. Intact with them, but everybody knows the score. The contact is for what is to be school. He is not my best friend, but we have an interest in video games in common.

His mother?I will call her D?and my mother started the friendship (or at least I think that is what my mother wanted). It turns out it is more of a “friendship. ” My mother bought two tickets and invited D to a blues festival over the Fourth of July holiday last year. Mom said while they were at the festival, D did not even buy her a glass of wine. Mom did not give up. Another example; she and D. Went out on Halloween in costume, but when it came time to buy rounds of drinks, Mom bought, Ad’s drink.

Again, over the winter holidays, my mother threw a party and invited D and her son, my friend. Mom Jokingly said, “D will be the first one here and the last to leave because there is free food,” but turns out, it was not a Joke. That is actually what happened. We laughed about it after the party because Mom pegged it exactly right. For D, the friendship is about what she can get out of it in the way of free drinks and food apparently. For my mother, it was supposed to be companionship in which both of them shared an equal part in putting in the efforts of a true friendship. ND more often the people one associates with most are more like “friends”. Maybe that is why there is a saying that states that a person only has one or two true friends in a lifetime. Perhaps if Americans were not so focused on accumulating things, then friendships would not feel so forced and one-sided; they would feel more natural and be much more enjoyable. Revisions: this type of friendship, there are two types of friends; the true friend and the and be much more enjoyable.

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